Falls

Waterfalls! After the first one yeah they are cool but are they worth the hike? Tons of people have seen it before, walked the same trail, spent the same sunny afternoon taking pictures by it, and were limited by the same trails. Is it worth it if you stay within the railings? I have decided it's not. Let the old fogeys and the young kids stay in the railings. I want to tempt fate. Find out if its my day to die. I know its not but will I know for sure if I don't chance it? I want the rush, the memory, and the breathe taking view of staring a death in the face few have dared to. My dad would say I am stupid, he's right I guess.

Flying by the seat of your pants just invites chaffing.
Yes it does but I brought body glide!!!!

Every time somebody asks me what I am going to do after high school, I say, "Well I am not going to college that's for sure." As I look into the persons surprised almost horrified expression in reply, I think of this poem now and know that no matter what other people think is sensible or practical I know what I want from my life... no matter how unorthodox it might be.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-ROBERT FROST

Is she wrong?

At night, when we were not arguing over questions of eternity, we read H.P. Lovecraft tales around the campfire, shooed away marauding black bears, and identified the constellations from our sleeping bags, our chilled faces to the sky. Those are elements that strengthen any friendship, I think.
- Amy Tan, The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings

I can't get to them all

She doesn't seem to see me. Given: my outside isn't attractive and alluring, but I have an inside she would want to see. So many words I am waiting to share with her. I have word pictures, imagery, irony, similes, history, encouragement, ambition, and information neatly recorded to last through the ages, but her life is so short. But I am right here! She has walked past me so many times now!Take the chance! Turn off the t.v. Put aside that pencil! Ignore the buzzing of your cellphone! Turn off your c.d. player and let me talk to you!Your face looks fine come stare into MY eyes! I may not wear make-up like you but seriously neither of us need it anyway. No don't leave without me. My whole existence hangs on the hope that one day you will not be too busy for me. I know stories of dragons, elves, famous men and women. You must get to know me better. Let's go somewhere together. Climb a tree and take me with you. Hop on a plane and take me with you. Grab your bike and carry me in your backpack. Steal the car and let's go somewhere you have never been before. No you hang out with her all the time. Just one day! Give me one day to show you what I hold.Treasures, hope, thoughts you have never thought before. A coffee shop, a library, a quiet closet,the middle of the road. The options are endless! I can help you so much. Stimulating conversation, mindboggling concepts, unforgetable adventures! Come on you are going to miss them!

Realizations

1)Talking to a friend the other night made me realize something.I had never put this feeling into words but it has been with me a long time. I could wake up a year from now and say Goodbye to everyone in my life and be fine. It makes me sound like a shallow friend but really I can't wait for that day. Not because I don't love the people in my life, just my passion for new places is barely containable. Most people couldn't do that, or it would be really hard, but I look forward to it. I can scarcely wait. The day I say, "I am leaving tomorrow will be the best of my life."
2)Today during Bible my teacher was talking about expectations and expectancy and the difference between them. She used the example of a bride, waiting in a back room to walk down the aisle. She's feeling beautiful and really nervous. She's nervous because of him *expectancy.* No bride is thinking O I hope he doesn't embarrass me or I hope he doesn't kiss me weird which would be expectations. Things in life should be the same way. My mother says that I live by the seat of my pants, moment to moment. That's the way I prefer it but I never knew why I just knew that's the way I wanted it. But my realization is that I live that way because quick impetuous decisions doesn't allow for expectations. It doesn't give me time to formulate them therefore I am never disappointed and always surprised. What better way to live?
3)The word dating doesn't mean what we think it means. According to definition everybody on Earth has dated many many times sometimes multiple people at the same time, guys and girls. I have dated so many times but never had a boyfriend. So what's the word for the part of a relationship when you are hanging out to see if you want to make it official? Even couples I have talked to have called it dating. But that's a definition we have given as a culture. So what's the real word?

Intense

Everything lately has been really intense. We had service day yesterday and really encountered God and spent some great time with him, got to see some of the stuff he is doing in Salt Lake City. He told me what he wants me to do with the next year of my life. Tough stuff but worth it obviously because I FEAR GOD not man lol Go Nathan! Please God remind me of that sermon again and again. I also just read the Children of Hurin which was amazing and depressing and disgusting and exciting all at the same time. Loved it! I also learned about the Newbery Award and now I am determined to read every book on the list since it began in 1922. My new focus and maybe even obsession. I will try to keep it in check God. Today was the Jog-a-thon. I ran a 5K, which was fun and I felt great afterwards.

I wish I could file away every detail of my life.