Dreaming is allowed...why keep it small? Today I was given "a word" by our chapel speaker. Apparently I am going to be a famous fasion designer someday! Something to look forward to I guess! After chapel I was asked by a bunch of people what I think about this. My answer was that sure fasion interests me, there aren't a lot of things that don't, but do I think it was a real word from God? I guess I won't know until later, if I become a designer than obviously it was true. People constantly ask me where I am going to college and what am I going to do with my life and I don't think I will know until I do it, it just depends on what happens and what works out:
"We plot. We plan. We assume things are going to go a certain way. And when they don't we find ourselves-in a new place a place we haven't been before, a place we never would have imagined on our own. It is the difficult and the unexpected maybe even the tragic that opens us up and frees us to look at things in a new way. Many of the most significant moments of our lives comes not because all went right but because it all fell apart. Suffering does that, it hurts...but it also creates."
I know I have so many big dreams and so many hopes and in my mind they are going to happen. Maybe not in the time I want but my quote for this year is, "Make it happen." So if I want to do something than I better stop thinking about it and do it!

Funniest Thing

My neffe is the hardest sleeper I have ever seen! I literally shook him, sat him up, manipulated his extremities, laughed at him, put him in a hundred positions, flipped him over, played with his head and... eyes closed, breathing steadily, he sat there sleeping peacefully, trying to find a comfortable position (impossible with his Tante there). He is such a cutey! When I finally woke him up he was so angry and I loved it lol I stole him some candy before dinner and raced him through his raviolies. It halfway makes me sad to think that after highschool I don't know what I am going to do (couple ideas). I am going to leave that's all I know, which means I won't be here to see him and the girls for a long time. O well I have got a year! Maybe the first time I have been happy about that fact.

Weekends

These past weekends have been jam packed and I love it! I am now obsessed with duct tape. My friend Paul Quaife always used to say, "Duct tape can fix anything." And I swear it can! lol Last night was pretty crazy! It was a night that I want to remember for a long time and be able to tell my kids about lol It was one of those nights that if I kept a journal I would spend a couple pages just giving highlights

Georgia Peaches

A while back I read a book called Peaches. It was about three girls sent to an orchard for community service. One girl super clean, blond, uptight another girl lascivious, troublemaker, party-er and there was one scene in the book towards the end... after the girls stop hating each other and well basically grow in "maturity" learn all their lessons and stuff, they are in the orchard on the last day and at the end of the day the girls grab a peach. The blond takes a tiny bite of her peach to avoid getting dirty, then the troublemaker comes up and takes a huge bite out of hers, letting it drip down her chin, closing her eyes, savoring, as it drips onto her shirt, and she says, "That's how you enjoy a peach." Of course years after I read that book that scene is still with me lol and seriously just now I ENJOYED my sandwich. It had marinated asparagus, a ton of cheese, and two sunny eggs and the yoke poured over my hands and got all over me, but for real it was the best sandwich! This is the way I plan on attacking life, not just taking a small bite and standing back while others dive in. I plan to be the first one to the bottom... or the top depending on how you look at it.
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance...
I hope you dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Refilled my tank

So many people are stuck in the rut of how we are "supposed" to live our lives. So many people are missing the good things in life. Cold face. Toasty warm. Crayon blue sky shading into a navy. A spread of gorgeous stars. Clear thoughts. Peaceful relaxation. These things transformed the scariest hours of the night into a refreshing refill. If every weekend I slept under the stars I don't see how Mondays could be that awful. But of course I didn't get to sleep under the stars because an adult that has somewhere along the last forty years forgotten what life is all about told me that if I didn't obey and stay inside like a normal child I would be in "big trouble." So I woke up Alyssa dragged her and our nest of pillows and blankets out of the bed of the truck back into the house. Something I realized tonight while enjoying the stars, "The stars serve no purpose. No one will ever get to see them up close. God made them for exactly this reason. For us to enjoy them."

Deceiving

The sun is out but hasn't started thawing me out. It's like our stove at home, which is set at the lowest setting and no matter how close you get it does nothing. Reading the weirdest book, its called the Fetch and its kind of the story of Anastasia kinda but its different because the main character is a spirit whose job is to escort souls to heaven from their death scenes. During one of his escorts, while the soul of a little boy is deciding to stay or die, the main character Calder falls in love with the Empress. So weird! I love to read.

Daffodils

Unbeknowns to me, all the nagging that I was very enjoyably not having to deal with when my mom was gone was really being saved up for when she got back. Then hell broke loose! It was great I enjoyed it a lot. That week of bliss is gone and I really think that me being sick has something to do with the sudden temperature drop in the house when my mom came back through the door. Last week I asked simon to send me some pictures of him and his friends so he did, and as I was looking at them I was unbelievably jealous. People are having fun somewhere else, they are having fun and yet I am stuck here struggling to be happy every moment of high school. Is it fair that adults and not teenagers are what is making me want to drop out and finally start enjoying life? I can feel myself slipping back into my funk... God please bring springtime.

New Book

Well its over. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel bad. It's just good closure. Played hard to end the season. For some of us it was a BIG night. For some of us its the beginning of the next stage of our lives. For others its more like finally reading the last page of a book that's taken you months to read...and its an unexpected but great ending. It almost makes me cry to think that next season will be last time I play basketball on a team. I have finished my third year of Varsity basketball. How the hell did that happen?! I am driving! Next year I am going to be a senior! Not just an upperclassmen but a SENIOR! See finishing that last page makes it so you can look forward... and see what the next book you read is going to be...